What: Tornado Alley Hash #1143
Where: Back Parking Lot of Indian Hills Ace Hardware at 13th and Meridian
When: Sunday, October 7, 11:30 PM
Hare: BOY Anus
Hash Cash? $5
Approximate Distance: 3.5 Miles
Shiggy Rating: 3 - Two water crossings: first one will get your ankles wet, the second one will get your nuts (or inside girl nuts) wet. Trail will be A-B.
Hounds: PPL, In My Wiener, BP, Just Lays There, NBA, Tequila Tony, PQuad, Amanta, Beeeestiality Before Boys, nnDustin, nnSophie
Taking off from behind Ace Hardware (shit, I forgot to accuse the hare of not calling 911) at 13th and St. Paul, trail led to the Arkansas River where we almost immediately had a turkey/eagle split. The eagle took the wankers about an extra mile, but kept their feet dry, while the turkey tamely took the real hashers across a bitty puddle and then through the fabulous trails of Sim Park where we located the first beer near. After being attacked by carnivorous sticker weeds, the valiant hashers followed trail along Museum Drive, where the r*nners were viciously attacked by random gangs in the Cowtown area. After hearing gunshots, the wankers hit the dirt, but then courageouly kept on trail over to the art museum, where some of the Harriettes took some time out to molest the sculptures in the front. Trail wound along the river, and dodging copious amounts of goose shit, the hashers were almost attacked by a vicious bobcat, and an invisible skunk. The wankers located the second beer near under the Murdock St. bridge, where the hare considerately left us plenty of pigeon shit and changes of clothing. Trail then took us north to who knows where, and when we got to the Little Arkansas, we found the hare (Charon) manning a kayak to take us across the River Styx to the on-in.
Amazingly, 75% (nine) of the hashers were female, which delighted the three males that actually made it. Tequila Tony RA'd the circle in which the hare accused 5 of the delicate harriettes of taking the kayak across the River Styx instead of wading across (duh). He of course gave them the option of showing boobs, but they all opted to have more Milwaukee's Beast poured down their gullet. Guiness Book of World Records has been notified of the remarkable 5 person dead bug that ensued. All in all, the trail sucked, but there was much rejoicing. On on!