For Tina and ButtHer: TLDR: shitty trail, blah, blah, blah, crappy beer
Well, kids, if you missed yesterday’s trail at Pawnee Prairie Park (yes, I’m looking at you), you missed one of the biggest TAH3 shit shows of the last 26 years. To begin with, the theme: “Expired Beer”. Yay. And to think there’s still tons of it left for your future enjoyment.
Next fiasco, one of the two scheduled hares excused himself before pre-lube, so he could answer nature’s call, never mind he was surrounded by nature. Said hare never returned to trail, citing “uncontrollable outages”. This left the other hare without a co-hare. She pitifully begged the pack for a volunteer, tears and snot streaming down her face (she’s never looked better, btw). A very old and disabled harriette took pity and said, “Anything for TAH3”. All of this embarrassing drama took place in front of two out-of-towers, Dairy Queen and nnAmy, who had cum to the ‘Ta expressly to see how it’s done in “the big city”.
The first problem the hares encountered in laying trail was that the remaining original hare (henceforth referred to as OH) couldn’t remember where the first beer near was stashed. She kept muttering, “It’s by a tree, it’s by a tree, I know it’s by a tree). Well, no shit, there were a few of those fuckers out there. The hares eventually came to a potential split, and OH said, “Wait here, I’m going to lay a check back.” 10 minutes and probably 37 check back plops later, the old fart stand-in hare (henceforth referred to as OF) spied OH wandering off trail aimlessly. OF thought OH was looking for a piss spot. At this point, the pack saunters around the bend, Punky in the lead, looking for a wabbit. Punky snagged the hare, and chivalrously fist bumped OH. Turns out, OH had stumbled upon the first BN accidentally.
After consumption of the crappy beer, the hares took off again to try to salvage their reputations. No such luck. OH was determined to do another check back but made sure the marks were not visible to normal humans. NnAmy found the CB mark, so we know she’s not human. Or normal. After much searching, the pack eventually found the 2nd BN and the marks leading to the on-in.
They say, bad things happen in threes, but I say numbers don’t matter when it comes to crappy trails. The final blow (and it blew) was circle with Sir Dip acting as RA. He was determined to demonstrate dead bugs for our guests, even though counting does not seem to be his strength. Like the dick-tator he is, he insisted that 2 was 3, and forced two innocents to demonstrate our evil tradition.
On-after was at Side Pockets where unexpired beer was consumed. The miracle was that our guests left smiling (probably the beer), and NOT screaming “Never again”. On on!
A recap of bygone hashes.