Tornado Alley Hash #1148
When: Sunday, Oct 28, 2:00 PM
Where: Swanson Park, 1011 N Maize Rd, Wichita, KS 67212
Hare: Tequila Tony
Hash Cash: $5 make you holla, Virgins are free - (we are not giving them away - you have to bring your own)
Shiggy Rating: 3.5
On-After: Wichita Brewing Company at Tyler and 13th
Hounds: Born on Your Anus, No Blow Angel, Phi Phi Licker, Boathouse Pussy, Dipstick, nnAmanda, Cuddle Puncher, Post Partum Pitt Pisser, and Ate Something Shocking.
The pack gathered off of Maize Rd, where our hare provided us with a wonderful selection of various ales. We were joined by an optometry resident, nnAmanda from South Carolina, who has hashed a few times but is yet to be named. The Pack took off after the hare, traversing the trails (existent and non-existent) of Swanson Park. In true Tequila Tony fashion, the first water crossing was less than .7 miles into the trail. After a few minutes of pining, whining, and hesitating, most of the hounds ran through the water, which wasn’t even waist deep for the vertically challenged hounds. The only one who really wussed out was our illustrious GM, Born on Your Anus. He went upstream a few meters and found a fallen tree that he was able to traverse safely across the drink. The pack was in awe at his incredible skills, and deduced that he must be half cat, half ninja, and half awesome.
After another water crossing, the pack came up on the much anticipated “BN” symbol, and there was much rejoicing. However, after looking around and around, the beer remained hidden and no one could find it. Finally, someone spotted 12 bottles of beer, individually tied to the branches of a tree that was dangling over a stagnant reservoir of water. Born on Your Anus shimmied up the tree, where there was a pair of scissors waiting. Carefully cutting down the beers one by one and tossing them to BP and Cuddle Puncher, BOYA once again managed to stay dry.
After the BN, the pack managed to pick up trail and followed it through a couple more water crossings (all of which BOY Anus managed to outsmart) and ultimately back to Tequila Tony’s truck, where he had chips, candy, and more beer awaiting.
The circle saw a few deadbugs, as the RA apparently wasn’t very impressed with BOYA’s efforts to stay dry. In an unprecedented move, BOY Anus was assigned a TOWERING DEADBUG without having been in the circle at all! Apparently, five skipped water crossings was equivalent to five consecutive trips to the circle. We swung low by 5:00 and headed to Wichita Brewing Company, where we drank more beer and ate pizza.