What: Tornado Alley Hash #1154 DRINKSGIVING!
Where: Chisolm Creek Park - Great Plains Nature Center Parkin Lot
When: Sunday, November 18th, 1:00 PM
Hare: Born On Your Anus
Hash Cash: $5
Hounds: Dip, NBA, Amanta, PPL, nnSam, Cuddle Puncher, nnKat, nnDane, nnMatt, Stumpy Whisker Biscuit, nnSierra, Trashy, nnJill, nnCody, nnKevin, Tequila Tony, PQuad, Pussy Magnet
Hash Trash hates to admit this, but the Third Anal Drinksgiving trail did not totally suck, that is, if you like straight lines. It actually could have been re-named the No-Name Hash, since there were almost more no-names than named hashers. Even though it was extensively advertised as being a costume hash, very freaking few of the wankers actually took the effort to dress accordingly. Sheesh. Best costume prize went to Stumpy who was dressed as a pus-filled, oozing, dripping Indian with smallpox. Nice.
The hare left us six eensy wild-turkey nears, which were consumed by the thirsty front-runners by the time the sluggish DFLs got to them. Cum to think of it, this probably explains the extreme drunkenness of the FRBs and the sobriety of the DFLs at the circle.
Starting from the Chisholm Creek Park Nature Center, trail tamely meandered west. We veered into the Dark Forest of Perverts, where we encountered the first water crossing. This one turned out to be a bit problematic for most of the hounds. PQuad sacrificed herself and demonstrated how not to cross the creek, by falling into it. Cuddle Puncher then decided to capture video of any potential dunkings during the subsequent crossings. He was deeply disappointed, especially by NBA, who was being irritatingly slow and careful. He had been eagerly hoping for a viral YouTube video.
As we exited the Pervert Forest, we were heartened to hear that world peace is alive and well in the backseats of the parked cars. There's hope for Israel and Palestine if two random men who don't know each other can experience true love in the backseat of a Ford.
The beer near was discovered in a culvert near Oliver. After sharing the pitifully small number of beers that were left for us, we continued west across Oliver into the woods belonging to The Center for Health Through the Consumption of Roots and Herbs and the Holistic Use of Crystals. Some real wild turkeys were discovered there by Dip, but they disappeared before he could attempt to drink them.
Trail led across Hillside to the old Grove Park (it now has a new, more politically conscious name but I don't know it). First we had to climb down and then up some rattlesnake-infested rocks, as well as cross another slimy water crossing. But we were rewarded with the on-in and circle, which were found and conducted in waist-high shiggy, next to the Fiscal Cliff of Doom. Accusations were plentiful, and the RA insisted on a record number of dead bugs, many of which were inflicted on some of the virgins. This was highly unusual because, as Tequila Tony pointed out, we usually want the virgins to cum back. However, cum to think of it, they were the front-runners and probably won't remember the circle due to the copious amounts of alcohol consumed.