What: Tornado Alley Hash #1171: St Scholastica Day Hash
When: Sunday, Feb. 10th, 10:00 am
Location: Anus' House - 1622 Hood
Hash Cash: $5
Shiggy – 2
Trail: A-B: 3.5ish miles
Hares: Just Lays There and Born on Your Anus
Hounds: A.S.S., Cuddle Puncher, nnKat, NBA, A.D.D., Dip, nnCarol, nnMatt, Tequila Tony, Pussy Magnet, In My Wiener
In honor of the infamous 10 February 1355 St. Scholastica Day Riots of Oxford, England, the wankers of Tornado Alley H3 kept the dream alive in protesting the hideous practice of being served crappy beverages. Although we missed the boat in that we ourselves did not riot and throw the crappy beverages in the faces of the hares who supplied them. Wait, wait, the sainted NBA DID, in fact, throw a beverage into the face of one of the hares, who mightily protested that act. But, despite the whining and non-comprehension of the prostrate hare, that swill-slinging was only done in celebration of the events of that fateful day 658 years ago today.
Starting from the hares' abode in Riverside, pre-lube consisted of Bloody Marys made from cheap-ass vodka, and Dip's ubiquitous $5 sparkling wine. Once we were good and lubed, the hares took off. Trail meandered to the south through Oak Park where the first crappy selection of swill, that is, Boxer Lager, was located in a hollow tree stump. After enduring that canned urine, the wankers continued on in a southerly fashion through Riverside side streets, eventually strolling past the Art Museum, and discovering the second beer near behind a stone signage by Cow Town. After choking down some Hamm's, which actually tasted like the good stuff after the Boxer we were previously forced to swallow, we followed trail through Sim Park, and eventually found the on-in not far from the river. Were we to be rewarded with decent crappy beer? Oh, no, we were supplied with even more crappy beer, and generic cheese puffs.
Our RA pointed out many misdeeds committed by the hares, resulting in multiple dead bugs. If non-hashers had passed by, they would have heard the chants of "Havoc! Havoc! Smyt fast, give gode knocks!" And we did. So due to the nippy weather and the fact that we had a naming to do, we continued the circle back at the Hood House. After many entertaining stories, nnKat will now and forevermore, be known to the hashing world as Hummer Gay'mes. On on!