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#1191

4/28/2013

9 Comments

 
Picture
Hare:  Hummer Gay'mes
Hounds:  Dip, PPL, NBA, Tina, ASS, Cuddles, Anything Goes, PQuad, nnAlex, Puff for the first half of trail, BP and nn Dakota for the second half of trail
 
Well, kids, there is so much to be said about this trail, but most of it can be summed up by our Trail anthem.  So, I could leave it with that, but I'm not going to.  The theme of this trash is "Shitty Trail, how do I count the ways?"
 
Let's start at the beginning, at chalk talk.  We were told by our beloved hare that trail would be 3.5 to 4 miles.  We were also told that there would be two marks after an intersection and one after a split.  We found out once we began trail that our hare likes to tell lies.    Either that,  or 1) her memory is waaay diminished for a 24-year-old, or 2) she can't count, or 3) she has no concept of distance, or 4) all of the above.  The hounds were confused from the start of trail, and it went downhill from there.   Half the pack found the first beer near behind Commerce Street by the railroad tracks, after an extensive search.  The half that found the beer kinda wished they hadn't, after discovering it to be consisting of Genny Lite, which turns out to be a step down from Milwaukee's Beast and a slight step up from Boxer Lite.  Trail then took a circuitous route west to eventually end up at the Waterfront where overpriced food was sold by food trucks.  The lines were long and the food was expensive, so most of the pack took off after trail.  We found the lost walkers, but we lost Cuddles and Tina who decided that they needed to eat.  These two wankers ended up shortcumming to the on-in (hmm, how did they have this advance information?.....).  The rest of the hounds spent what seemed to be hours and hours trying to follow the very few and very confusing marks left by the stingy hare.  We ended up by Exploration Place then on through Delano, and finally found the second beer near, where many used needles, crack pipes and aerosol paint cans were scattered around to make us feel welcome.  The downside of this beer near was that we found more Genny Lite to quench our thirst.  
 
Trail then took us south to the on-in which was at Hummer's house.  Surprise, surprise, who should we find there but the lost hounds, Tina and Cuddles, partaking of beer and munchies in her living room.  PQuad had technology-on-trail, and she clocked the distance to be 6.1 miles, a little longer than we were told at the start.  Need I mention that Hummer experienced many, many variations of dead bugs with her Boone's Farm?  No, I do not.  Shitty trail, good times.  On on!

9 Comments
Anus
4/29/2013 10:27:22 am

I saw the Genny Light in the pics and was curious. I always see it at ridiculous prices at south side liquor stores. Good to know it's shitty.

Reply
hg
4/29/2013 11:24:26 pm

i'm pleased!

also, ok, if i hadn't forgotten where i'd placed the second beer near, trail probably would've only been 5 miles. these things happen.look at all the great trash fodder i provided!

ONON!

Reply
NBA
4/30/2013 12:04:26 am

Correct, HG! When nothing significant happens, I have nothing to write about! So the shittier the better for me! All in good fun, all in good fun!

Reply
hg
4/30/2013 12:12:21 am

i'm already planning my next shitty trail. half marathon anyone?

Reply
Jesse Milne
4/30/2013 12:18:08 am

I'm in!

Reply
Tina
4/30/2013 12:21:45 am

Who the hell is Jesse Milne?

Reply
Jesse Milne
4/30/2013 12:25:03 am

That's how it posts from the developer app on my iPhone.

Reply
PQuad
4/30/2013 08:30:25 am

I'm down for a 13.1 mile hash! That would be at least a 5 BN hash, right??

Reply
hg
5/1/2013 11:16:57 pm

pquad -definitely! but only if i'm able to lose a few of them along the way.

Reply



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