#1191

Hare:  Hummer Gay'mes
Hounds:  Dip, PPL, NBA, Tina, ASS, Cuddles, Anything Goes, PQuad, nnAlex, Puff for the first half of trail, BP and nn Dakota for the second half of trail
 
Well, kids, there is so much to be said about this trail, but most of it can be summed up by our Trail anthem.  So, I could leave it with that, but I'm not going to.  The theme of this trash is "Shitty Trail, how do I count the ways?"
 
Let's start at the beginning, at chalk talk.  We were told by our beloved hare that trail would be 3.5 to 4 miles.  We were also told that there would be two marks after an intersection and one after a split.  We found out once we began trail that our hare likes to tell lies.    Either that,  or 1) her memory is waaay diminished for a 24-year-old, or 2) she can't count, or 3) she has no concept of distance, or 4) all of the above.  The hounds were confused from the start of trail, and it went downhill from there.   Half the pack found the first beer near behind Commerce Street by the railroad tracks, after an extensive search.  The half that found the beer kinda wished they hadn't, after discovering it to be consisting of Genny Lite, which turns out to be a step down from Milwaukee's Beast and a slight step up from Boxer Lite.  Trail then took a circuitous route west to eventually end up at the Waterfront where overpriced food was sold by food trucks.  The lines were long and the food was expensive, so most of the pack took off after trail.  We found the lost walkers, but we lost Cuddles and Tina who decided that they needed to eat.  These two wankers ended up shortcumming to the on-in (hmm, how did they have this advance information?.....).  The rest of the hounds spent what seemed to be hours and hours trying to follow the very few and very confusing marks left by the stingy hare.  We ended up by Exploration Place then on through Delano, and finally found the second beer near, where many used needles, crack pipes and aerosol paint cans were scattered around to make us feel welcome.  The downside of this beer near was that we found more Genny Lite to quench our thirst.  
 
Trail then took us south to the on-in which was at Hummer's house.  Surprise, surprise, who should we find there but the lost hounds, Tina and Cuddles, partaking of beer and munchies in her living room.  PQuad had technology-on-trail, and she clocked the distance to be 6.1 miles, a little longer than we were told at the start.  Need I mention that Hummer experienced many, many variations of dead bugs with her Boone's Farm?  No, I do not.  Shitty trail, good times.  On on!

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