What: Tornado Alley Hash #1193
When: Saturday, May 4, 12:00
Location: Parking lot off of Topeka, just north of Murdock, behind the Grand Chapel (Which sits on Broadway across from the Artichoke).
Hash Cash: $7 (Good Tequila and Mexican Beer)
Shiggy Level: 2-3 (probably won't need a dry bag)
Hares: Anything Goes, Tina, PBR, PQuad, PPL, Dip, NBA, ASS, nnKatie, nnSarah, nnMike, nnJeremy
May the Fourth Be With Chuy.........Han Solo de Mayo.......Return of the Pacos.......whatever you want to call this hybrid which we inflicted upon Doodah on the most miserably cold May 4th in recent memory. BOYA started this torture from the backside of The Grand Chapel, and led the pack off to the east through interesting (editor's note: By "interesting" she means "low socioeconomic/high African American demographic) neighborhoods and industrial warehouses. First beer near was found in a relatively warm storm sewer by 13th Street and the Ditch, which we discovered was also evidently the man cave of PBR. Here, we were amazed to find out that Mexico exports crappy beers similar to Genny Lite. We then followed trail to the north, passing McAdams Park, and through even more industrial areas. Second beer near was found by old railroad tracks by the rendering plants near 21st Street. We were delighted to find even more crappy beer, but this time it was accompanied by the wafting aroma of rotting cow carcasses. (Thank you, Cargill.) Now, here's where the trail turns exceptionally shitty. The hare led us northwest across 21st Street, over fences and along a litter-strewn creek. If the entire pack avoids contracting some horrible disease, it will be a miracle. NBA, for one, needs a tetanus booster after an encounter with a barbed wire fence. We continued to the north along the creek, past an abandoned factory from which gunshots were periodically emitted (editor's note: I want to stress that NBA is serious. Someone was shooting guns inside of an abandoned building that the hare actually intended to circle behind).
We found the on-in a little to the north of the factory with a serape-clad Darth Vader waiting for us. And that wasn't the creepiest thing that awaited us. Our hare had found us shelter from the wind in someone's rape shack which was also probably formerly used as a torture chamber for unfortunate horses. We crammed ourselves inside the tin shack (tiiiiinnnnnn roof......rusted....) in an unsuccessful effort to get warm, only to be subjected to Dip offering us opportunities to be lauded for our trail-following efforts. Amazingly, there was a relatively clean wooden board provided for the inevitable dead bugs that Dip thinks are necessary.
As we swung low, we were amazed to find that the temperature had dropped even more, and the wind had picked up to gale-force speeds. We eventually were transported to the Artichoke for the on-after. As we were thawing out and despite chattering teeth, we managed to cum up with a name for nnKatie. Our first choice was nnKatie, but, as the result of a couple of stories she told, we decided that for now, and forevermore, (or until she does something even more stupid), nnKatie will be known as Kibbles 'n Chips. There was much rejoicing. On on!
5/5/2013 12:38:30 pm
5/5/2013 12:45:32 pm
1-You forgot that the FRB was so much of a racist that she had to stop about 6 times to wait for the rest of the pack because she was all alone in a particularly shady part of the barrio.
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