Hare: Poopy the Fruitdick Slayer/ Pee Phi Licker
Hounds: Power Bottom Redding, Tina Eat the Piss, No Blow Angel, Cuddle Puncher, Boathouse Pussy, nnRussell, Anything Goes, Deb's Dipstick (for the first 10 mintues of trail (about half), Puff the Magic Ass Grabber
How do we measure the shittiness of a trail? By mileage? By how long respectable hashers remain on trail before abandoning and going straight for ONIN? By the irredeemable choice of Old Chicago at dinner time as the Beer Near? Any of these criteria taken separately would give us shitty trail. Taken all together we have something new, something beyond simply shitty: number three, Butt Pee.
Hared portentously by both Pee Phi and Poopy, the hounds set out from Public at the Brickyard in order to test the accuracy of the heat advisory issued by the National Weather Service. After five or six city blocks, we found ourselves at the Beer Near, by far the longest stretch on trail. The hounds sat so long waiting for their beers, they finally completed the final phase in setting up TAH3, LLC. We launched our long awaited all and sundry website, buildyourwhistle.com and hope to see a bump in hash cash any second now. Dip was so taken with the concept that he left trail entirely to present the idea to a venture capital firm while Puff was so offended by the idea of technology of any sort that he skipped the Beer Near entirely.
After finally drinking our beers and reclaiming photo identification, we got back on trail. Most of the hounds were still thirsty from the Beer Near and shortcut to ONIN at the Brickyard where NBA regaled us with stories of her best friend, known only as 'The Sinking'. Puff escaped mere moments before a deadbug and the rest of us drank beer and rejoiced.