Hare: Cuddle Puncher
Hounds: Dip, Puff, Coyote Cockwise, PBR, Kibbles 'nChips, PeePhiLicker, Hummer Gay'mes, Amanta, Tina, nnRussell, nnMelinda, Tequila Tony, BP at ONIN
The Tornado Alley Hash House Harriers care about the environment. None more so than Cuddle Puncher, who in an effort to reduce his carbon footprint, recycled the bulk of his trail in a truly lazy display of shitty trail.
We started from El Mexico Cafe, where Cuddles had a reservation for the entire kennel, but neglected to inform us of the dress code beforehand. Dip's spotted tank top was in clear violation and the manager attempted to get him to wear a jacket. Tumult ensued and before the cops arrived, the hounds took off.
After immediately losing ourselves in a mini mall trying to follow Cuddles' gay pride markings, trail took us around to Watson Park, where one of the cops hot on Dip's trail caught Tequila Tony and sweated him for information on the Dalmatian fugitive. After questioning, the officer asked Tony to pass along the message that nobody ever exercises on the south side of Wichita. Trail continued through a pasture of mini horses and mini trainyards until the Beer Near on the shore of Watson Pond.
After a few twists and turns through the park, we found ourselves on uncomfortably familiar ground. The hounds were forced to follow the exact same trail back to El Mexico. By then a police cordon had been set around the building to interview witnesses and continue building the case against Dip so the hounds reconvened in Boathouse Pussy's back yard.
Circle was an enormous celebration for the kennel, with BP and Pee Phi Licker both drinking for their 100th hashes and Tequila Tony bidding a fond TTFN to Wichita. Amanta Feel and Fuck made the mistake of asking Puff the Magic Ass Grabber to pour her deadbug for her but he heard 'teabag' and was ready for the wrong kind of Down Down. Luckily, Amanta course corrected and Puff felt so bad about his mistake, he gave her the nicest pour the hashers had ever seen. Finally, the cops caught up with Dip and sent in undercover agents who were disguised as tiny children and in a supreme abuse of excessive force, the cops repeatedly spanked everyone in sight, warning us to never set foot in El Mexico Cafe again.