PCP's Pawnee Prairie Park Pedo Path:
Hounds: PBR, Dipstick, Dipshit, BP, NBA, BTK, nnPCP's wife, nnDakota, nnMaria, a bunch of other tiny hash-children
On a glorious Sunday noon, Tornado Alley congregated at Pawnee Prairie Park for what was advertised as a kid friendly hash. The day started out in a sad, gray parking lot with Dip playing a clown in short shorts and giving any children unfortunate enough to show up their very own used "water balloon". Our resident schoolmarm NBA then took them away from the children and rapped the knuckles of any who cried with her ever-present ruler.
The hare, in an attempt to liven the mood, called for chalk talk. In a truly inspired moment of dim-wittedness, PCP introduced a new low for trail markings: the BJ Near... Which is exactly what it sounds like. The hounds, appalled to a man, protested this disgusting display in front of the children, but PCP was adamant that his dream trail be realized. Thus, the Beer/Juice Near was born. The hare took off into the park before the hounds could talk him out of it.
Following close on the heels of the hare, the hounds crashed through branch, root and vine carrying children in strollers and papooses, picking up strange children of passersby along the way. Dip Shit, in a moment of lucidity, realized that instead of the Wee Baby Cornelius he thought he was carrying in his Baby Bjorn, he was actually toting a stolen sixer of Miller Lite. And Dip Shit rejoiced.
At the BJ Near, hashers had their B and kids had their J and all were refreshed. PCP picked up an honorary hare in the form of nnDakota, who quickly outpaced the named hasher, bringing disgrace yet again upon our beleaguered kennel.
Trail led the hounds through several patches of horse shit, giving several harriers and harriettes the misguided notion to find the clod-droppers and hitch a ride to the ONIN. BTK and BP thought they'd found the trail horses and tried mounting them to ride 'em on home. Alas, obese parkgoers can look so much like horses to our poor drunk hashers.
ONIN was a wasp infested pavilion next to the gray parking lot where trail started. Dip administered circle for the adults and gave out free "hash hugs" to all the children. The adults drank to forget, but the kids never will.